A Surefire Way To Manage Your Fears While Leading A Happier, Healthier Life

Imagine discovering a way to get rid of your fears in a quick and painless manner. In fact it can even become fun!

Did you know only two of all the fears you have are innate: The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Most of your fears were learned in early childhood and then in later life under stressful conditions.

Traditional therapeutic approaches would probably have you trying to figure out where your fear originally came from. Maybe they'd have you digging around in your childhood memories, recalling times you ate the next-door neighbours purple Tulips. This type of approach tends to associate the client into reliving unpleasantness and can take a long time to achieve useful results. Personally I think this style is way out of date and bordering on torture.

You'll probably be glad to know we're not going to be doing anything like that. The truth is you can easily and quickly undo the learnings that created specific fears and change your responses to something much more useful.

So just how do fearful feelings occur then? Well lets use a common example: Fred wants a raise and he's been wanting to ask his boss for months. Finally he decides to go and ask. BUT when he starts the walk down the corridor he starts to feel certain sensations in his body. Weird stomach feelings. His breathing is constricted. Slight sweating on parts of his body. His vision is effected. Fred decides to turn back and then sits down feeling slightly annoyed with himself.

His body started producing 'fear chemicals.' What happened?

"Well it was because he defied his Dad one time when he was four. Let's explore those forgotten memories...."

NO! NO! NO! Let's do something much smarter and definitely more fun.

Hey Fred come over here I want to show you something really cool! O' come on, pick your lip up.

You know how before you got up to go and ask the boss for a raise, you felt OK right? So between the time you got up and started walking something happened. Something triggered those feelings in you. Here's a fact for you: You either made a picture in your head or talked to yourself in a way that created those fearful sensations and that happened at an unconscious level out of your awareness.

"OK Colin that might be true but so what, what's your point?"

Well the point is by changing the internal sounds, pictures and voices in your head you can begin to gain control of your emotions.

"Fair enough but how can I do that so when I'm in a similar situation I automatically make useful pictures, sounds and voices in my head so I remain in a resourceful state?"

Good question, here's just one way you can achieve the results you want using a simple and powerful tool from the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

=== Soothing Movie Music ===

1.Think of a situation where you feel fear.

2.Dissociate: See yourself in the situation like you would a movie with you in it.

3.Imagine running the memory from the END of the fearful situation, BACKWARDS to the START. Do this very fast in less then 1 second!

4.Think of some music that makes you feel the opposite of fear. For example soothing classical music makes you feel relaxed. Perhaps certain rock or dance music makes you feel energised/courageous etc.

5.Now hear the music, nice and loud, inside your mind whilst looking at yourself going through the situation from START to END.

6.Break state. Now think of the situation you choose in Step 1 and notice how your fearful feelings have diminished.

7.What will you see or hear just before you want this new feeling to set in?

Colin G Smith

See for Yourself : 12 Step Tools Can Bring Happy, Joyous and Free into Everyones Life

We are all familiar with or have heard of the many Twelve Step programs and communities. The reason the 12 Steps are so effective in helping people create happy, joyous and free lives is because it is a program of solution based on principles written so simply that anyone can use them in their daily lives. As partly a Sober Living Coach, agapelegacycoach.com I team up with clients who already have a strong recovery foundation to transition from recovery into enhanced Sober Living. I also coach those who wish to craft and design Legacies of Excellence in all areas of their lives who are not familiar with 12 Step Living. In my coaching career, all of my clients have shared many successes by allowing me to bring them some of the indispensable tools I have come to live by as a proud member of the 12 Step Community myself. Here are some proven effective 12 Step Community tools to add to your toolbox:

1. If you're not the problem there is no solution:

People have tendencies to focus on others being the cause for problems. Waiting for others to change keeps them in charge of how your life looks and moves. Living in this mindset, you might be waiting a very long time for desired results and relief via others' actions. Take your power back and look into what only you can change.

2. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting:

If your life is not where you want it to be, then investigate other ideas and options. If things are moving well, then remember " If it ain't broke don't fix it!"

3. Check your motives:

The choices and actions we make based on only our plans, schemes and designs for other's lives are the ones that place us in positions to be hurt, let down and disappointed time and time again. When faced with an action or choice, ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?" Although our motives seem sincere at times, there is always a chance that we are operating out of what we want for ourselves. When self-centeredness is the motive, others around us tend to respond in defensiveness and anger.

4. Trust God and clean house:

Trust that God or the Universe will take care of the outcomes. Make sure your side of the street is clear of wrong motives, actions, unmade amends and apologies for your own behaviors. As they say in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, "a business that takes regular inventory rarely goes broke."

5. Watch your expectations:

High expectations - High disappointments? Low expectations - Low disappointments

One sign of living in "It's all about me" might be that you are using your "personal rights" to govern the behaviors of others . Humility and acceptance are the tools when struggling with unfulfilled expectations.

6. Get a competent sponsor and use them:

Mentors, coaches and community add such tremendous value to our lives. Have a solid support network that you trust and then follow their suggestions.

7. If you want what I have, you'll do what I did:

Be supportable and open to using the experiences of your mentors, coaches or support group. Don't question support from others when they offer ideas that make you uncomfortable or suggest a call to action. Just choose others with successful experience and not opinions.

8. By admitting powerlessness, you are actually gaining power:

This simply means to step back and stop operating out of reaction or control. What person, place or thing are you allowing to run your life? This is living from external forces while happy, joyous and free is an internal job for you to master.

9. Stop letting it rent space in your head or stop focusing on the problem:

If there is nothing you can do about it today, and if it is something that you have no control over, focus on productive things to spend valuable time thinking about, like gratitude or the relationships and outcomes that are working in your life.

10. Share experience, strength and hope:

Don't waste you time with people who lead or support others by opinion, embellishing who they are or just plain make things up. You're time is valuable. Surround yourself with people who can really support you through things because they have "been there, done that" and are now where you want to be. Community is invaluable for building thriving relationships and support. We all need friends and mentors who see past our blind spots and will kick us in the behind to get us back on track.

11. Work with others:

Community and support work both ways. Be available for others that need your expertise or experience to learn by or lean on. Give back what is freely given to you. Service work of any kind, such as Habitat for Humanity, The Special Olympics or which ever direction you are pulled toward, will create healthy ways of giving and keep you out of your head should you feel down or isolated or uninspired. Remember, if you're not having fun then something is not working!

By Elizabeth Tull

Happiness Fleeting

"You cannot capture happiness no matter how hard you may chase after it. Happiness is something that follows you." The words of the old sage echoed in the young man's heart, sounding a constant beat like the song that plays over and over without reprieve. "What does that mean?" he asked himself. "Time to walk," he continued, trapped in his own inner dialogue.

He thought about how many ways he tried to find lasting joy-from the cheap thrills to the bigger emotional investments that still left him bankrupt, at square one, with no more to show than a few scars and wrinkles and perhaps a tiny glimpse of what to avoid-far from any solution, more like a the-pain-will-stop-when-you-stop-smacking-yourself-with-the-baseball-bat approach that moved nothing forward.

At least it didn't move back.

Or did it?

"The pursuit of pain avoidance will never lead to happiness," he mused inside his aching head, an ache that scratched his soul, dug deep into his bowels to trouble and torment him, turned his stomach green, a sickly, hungover nausea that clung like ivy smothering a chimney. "I've gotta' figure this out," he demanded, "I wanna' be happy."

He kept one foot in front of the other, as if the forward march would somehow will the understanding to step forth and make itself known. No such luck-though he vowed to keep on.

His slow gait opened space for introspection-plod, seek, plod, seek. The mental wheels spun, though he wrestled with a vague notion that only in stillness would answers emerge or materialize.

"I can't capture happiness but I yearn for it. I try to do the right things yet it eludes me, like pushing a string. When do the right things add up? When is enough enough? How do I reel it in? Or can I?" His legs carried him while his mind churned.

"I know I can't look outside myself but how do I look within? How does looking help anyway? What do I do with what I see?"

He tripped over a protruding stone and found himself falling, a gash on the knee, a burn on the palm of his hand.

He sat for a long while, watching the wounds leak, a queer smirk across his lips.

"What's that about?" he pondered.

Despite his stuff, he felt a smile creep upward from his chin. It spread into a grin, like the sun rising between two mountain tops, filling the space with pale light that gains strength with each passing moment, a space that floods with pinks and reds and causes the valley between the crests to stream awakening to all below.

He suddenly knew, as we all know, in that profound and knowing place, that the rock that sent him tumbling spoke a universal truth.

Only he could pry open the creaking, groaning door that hid his darkest secrets as well as his enlightenment and build a pathway for happiness to alight and embrace him.

He licked the blood from his wrist and tasted himself, glanced down at his torn jeans, the naked flesh speckled with bits of gravel, glanced up and discovered an emerald green tree line, a blue sky, a stray cloud, a soaring hawk and a glowing eye that stared back at him and gave him, for a hushed moment, a tiny piece of happiness.

That's A View From The Ridge?

How to Find True Happiness!

To maintain an unchangeable sweetness of disposition, to think only thoughts that are pure and gentle, and to be happy under all circumstances, such blessed conditions and such beauty of character and life should be the aim of all, and particularly so of those who wish to lessen the misery of the world. If anyone has failed to lift himself above ungentleness, impurity, and unhappiness, he is greatly deluded if he imagines he can make the world happier by the propagation of any theory or theology. He who is daily living in harshness, impurity, or unhappiness is day by day adding to the sum of the world's misery; whereas he who continually lives in goodwill, and does not depart from happiness, is day by day increasing the sum of the world's happiness, and this independently of any religious beliefs which these may or may not hold.

He who has not learned how to be gentle, or giving, loving and happy, has learned very little, great though his book learning and profound his acquaintance which the letter of Scripture may be, for it is in the process of becoming gentle, pure, and happy that the deep, real and enduring lessons of life are learned. Unbroken sweetness of conduct in the face of all outward antagonism is the infallible indication of a self-conquered soul, the witness of wisdom, and the proof of the possession of Truth.

A sweet and happy soul is the ripened fruit of experience and wisdom, and it sheds abroad the invisible yet powerful aroma of its influence, gladdening the hearts of others, and purifying the world. And all who will, and who have not yet commenced, may begin this day, if they will so resolve, to live sweetly and happily, as becomes the dignity of a true manhood or womanhood. Do not say that your surroundings are against you. A man's surroundings are never against him; they are there to aid him, and all those outward occurrences over which you lose sweetness and peace of mind are the very conditions necessary to your development, and it is only by meeting and overcoming them that you can learn, and grow, and ripen. The fault is in yourself. Pure happiness is the rightful and healthy condition of the soul, and all may possess it if they will live purely and unselfish.

"Have goodwill To all that lives, letting unkindness die, And greed and wrath, so that your lives be made Like soft airs passing by." Is this too difficult for you? Then unrest and unhappiness will continue to dwell with you. Your belief and aspiration and resolve are all that are necessary to make it easy, to render it in the near future a thing accomplished, a blessed state realised.

Despondency, irritability, anxiety and complaining, condemning and grumbling; all these are thought cankers, mind-diseases; they are the indications of a wrong mental condition, and those who suffer therefrom would do well to remedy their thinking and conduct. It is true there is much misery in the world, so that all our love and compassion are needed, but our misery is not needed; there is already too much of that. No, it is our cheerfulness and happiness that are needed for there is too little of that. We can give nothing better to the world than beauty of life and character; without this, all other things are vain; this is pre-eminently excellent; it is enduring, real, and not to be overthrown, and it includes all joy and blessedness. Cease to dwell pessimistically upon the wrongs around you; dwell no more in complaints about, and revolt against, the evil in others, and commence to live free from all wrong and evil yourself. Peace of mind, and true reform lie this way. If you would have others true, be true; if you would have the world emancipated from misery and sin, emancipate yourself; if you would have your home and your surroundings happy, be happy. You can transform everything around you if you will transform yourself. "Don't complain or feel sorry for yourself...

Don't waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauties of the good." And this you will naturally and spontaneously do as you realise the good in yourself.

Happiness is Yours for the Taking

Happiness. The pursuit of so many. In fact, we are known in America as those who live for "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.'
But so many seem without happiness. Why is this? Is happiness truly elusive or do we simply not know how to take hold of it? It is my contention that happiness is yours for the taking. That is, anyone can be happy if the choose to be... and if they know how to get it.
So what does it take to bring us to a state of happiness? Here are a few thoughts to get you on your way:
Do not try to control circumstances.
One of the biggest "happiness busters" I see is in the frustration people experience (and wallow in) because circumstances have gone awry. This is because their mind-set, whether they know it or not, is that they should be somehow able to control circumstances. But let's get this straight: You can't! So the first thing you can do to give yourself happiness is to stop trying to control, or taking responsibility for circumstances that are outside of your control! Understand that you can only control yourself.
There is only one thing you can control in this world and that is yourself. You can't control the weather, other drivers, your kids or spouse, or anything for that matter outside of your own beliefs, thoughts, attitudes and actions. Focus all of your attention on developing yourself and doing what is right - controlling yourself while letting what will happen, happen - and you will find happiness opening up within you.
Decide what it is that you want out of life and then stick to it relentlessly.
This is two parts: First, know what you want. Get real clear with yourself. Take a private retreat to be alone if you have to, but come to grips with what you want your life to look like.
Secondly, devote yourself to that passion and do not be sidetracked. It is interesting to me how many options we have - good options - that if we pursue them they will actually crush our happiness because they will take us away from what will really make us happy.
Live for a legacy. We cannot be self-absorbed and live only for ourselves. Yes, we only control ourselves, but we can live for the betterment of others. Live your life in such a way that others are touched and you will find yourself feeling happiness in ways that you could never imagine. For example, I get some of the most touching emails from people I have never met (and probably never will) who tell me how I have helped them. There is little else that brings me such happiness!
Settle your finances. Whatever your financial goals are, get them! Having poor finances is one of the major causes of unhappiness. Now, some people are completely content on $30,000 a year. Others need $200,000 a year. That is okay. We all have different desires, needs, and goals. But the key is to know what you want your financial life to look like and then do what it takes to get there. Among the major things to do is to eliminate as much debt as possible, if not all!
Surround yourself with good friends. Good friend are such a blessing! I have some of the most intelligent, capable, successful, and caring friends a person could have. I have three or four people in my life that I completely trust and admire. When friendships are clicking, there is almost nothing that provides more happiness. Take time to develop your friendships. Spend time with them, do fun things with them etc. Even as life gets more and more busy, make time with your friends a priority.
Develop your primary love relationship. I spoke at a groom's dinner recently and one of the points I made was that marriage will show you both heaven and hell! Marriage, when it is going well will send you out the door each morning on cloud nine. When it isn't going well, it affects every area of your life negatively. Do whatever you can - work hard - at developing your primary love relationship. The rewards of happiness you reap will be tremendous!
Happiness is yours for the taking - and hope you will take the time to develop your life in such a way as to be able to experience all of the happiness you can handle!
About The Author:
By Chris Widener

Stop Sickies and Make People Happy At Work

If you're an employer or a manager then work place absence is costing you money, inconvenience, and upsetting your customers. And as we all know, not all days taken off work are due to genuine sickness. Many employees "take a sickie" because their morale is low and they just don't like or can't do their work.

The challenge for employers and managers is to make people happier at work. And if people are happy at work then they are less likely to take a day off every time they wake up with a stuffy nose. Some bosses think that paying more money, improving job security or working conditions is the answer. It isn't and it's also something that can be very hard to achieve.

People who employ or supervise other people need to become more tuned to their employees' emotional needs and find out what really motivates them. This is also much easier to achieve than paying more money or improving job security, however there is no quick fix. Some years ago I inherited a tele-sales operation with low staff morale and poor sales results. It took nearly a year to fix. The long-term benefits were of course worth it in terms of fewer days lost due to sickness and an increase in business.

To reduce the number of sickies there are four steps you need to consider. Firstly, pick the right person for the job. There's a television advertisement running at present for a recruitment company. It highlights the fact that many people are in the wrong job for their skills and attributes. The daft thing is that it was an employer or manager who put them in the job in the first place. We need to get better at interviewing and selecting people. Take more time over it; pay more attention to the applicant's human side rather than their qualifications or experience. Get to know them better.

Find out what makes them happy, how well they get on with other people and how much energy and enthusiasm they have. Make sure they know what they're getting into and be sure the job suits them.

A manager in the telecom industry was telling me about an engineer who was taking too many sickies. He was being blamed for a poor attitude to his work. His job involved working in tunnels under the city repairing and installing equipment. Eventually it was discovered that the poor guy was claustrophobic and was trying to deal with it on his own. He still works for the same team but in a job that doesn't involve small spaces. It's not always easy to move people, which emphasises the importance of getting it right in the first place.

Secondly, you need to believe in your people. If you've interviewed well and picked the right person for the job then you need to trust them to do that job. You need to constantly demonstrate to your people that you trust and believe in them by what you say, your tone of voice and your body language. If you believe that your people are not to be trusted, that they're unable to make a decision without checking with you. That they'll turn up late and go home early, then that's exactly what they'll do. If on the other hand you believe that they'll do their job well, that they can be trusted to make decisions and they will give you a fair day's work, then it is more likely this is what you'll get. As with all theories there is no guarantee that it will work every time, however the majority of employees are reasonable people and if you treat them as such then they are more likely to behave in a positive manner.

The third and probably the most important thing you can do to motivate your people is to give them feedback and coach them. This is where so many employers and managers fall down in dealing with their people; we are hopeless at giving feedback. Many managers are uncomfortable telling staff how they feel about their work performance.

Most employees want to know how they are performing in their job; they want to know if they are doing it right or how they could do it better. If you really want to motivate your people then you need to give them feedback on what they're doing well and what needs improvement.

When you notice an employee doing something you do like, tell them about it. When you notice something you don't like, tell them about it. Do it as soon as possible. Acknowledging a job well done is not much good six months later. Also, if you don't immediately call someone's attention to something you're not happy about, then they'll assume its okay. Either that or they'll think you didn't notice or you don't care. Do it in private. Why is it some managers still feel its okay to reprimand someone in front of their colleagues? Even the mildest rebuke can have a negative effect on morale.

When you do speak to the person use "I" messages. Say things like "I liked the way you did that" or "I'm unhappy with the way your reports are always late and I'd like your views on why this is". Avoid "You" messages such as "You're doing great". That can come across as patronising or insincere. "You're doing that all wrong" may cause conflict, lower morale and may not sort the problem.

Focus on one or two things. Don't run off a whole list of attributes or misdemeanours. Also be specific about job behaviour, focus on what the person did or didn't do, don't make a personal attack.

Employees will feel happier if they perceive their employer or manager as a reasonable and fair individual - someone who is quick to praise but also says when they're not happy about something.

When we start to look at what motivates people at work, it's important to realise that we all have different needs. It's easy to fall into the trap of believing that all our staff are motivated by money. However, research conducted over the years into what motivates people at work suggests some other factors.

Money is important however people are more likely to be motivated firstly, by the work itself. Secondly, by being appreciated for what they do and thirdly by a feeling of being in on things.

The message is - if you want motivated staff then make their work interesting, give them feedback and give them the feeling that they're involved in the business.

We can make the job more interesting by giving people more responsibility, assigning projects and by training and developing them. We need to regularly give people feedback on how they're doing; focussing on what they're doing well rather than on what is not so good. To meet their need to feel involved we should regularly communicate both formally and informally. We could also involve staff in meetings they might not normally attend.

These steps will take time and thought however they'll make a huge difference as to how employees feel about their work. If they feel good and gain satisfaction from their work then they're less likely to find a reason to "take a sickie".

By Alan Fairweather

10 Easy Ways You Can Feel Happier, Be Healthier and Live Longer Starting NOW!

Let's just say? first thing when you popped out of bed this morning, you woke up and found a little yellow post-it note stuck on the bathroom mirror that could transform your life. You smiled, instantly recognizing this very familiar word.

And on the back were instructions on how to incorporate more of it in your life so you'd feel less stress, pain and tension? more carefree, fun and energetic.

Even without the handy-dandy instructions (you think to yourself)? adding a little more is no big thing. After all, you've done it every single day of your life without even thinking about it. It comes as natural to you as blinking. It's as much fun as a long overdue chat with one of your dearest friends, as cheap as an afternoon daydream, as good for you as a 15 minute workout, yet as vital as the air you breathe. You glance again? it says L-A-U-G-H-T-E-R.

Laughter is the no cost, no effort, super simple, fabulously fun, overnight solution to happier, healthier, better living. American scientific and medical journals have cited the medical and psychological benefits of laughter. This is no laughing matter.

Laughter can heal your pain? reduce your stress? help you sleep like a baby? diffuse tense in difficult situations? boost your immunity? foster creativity? multiply your productivity? extend your life? expand your point of view? bond you to others? increase your charm and charisma? make you feel happier? and help you live in the moment.

With so much to gain and absolutely nothing to lose, are you ready to take these 10 tips to heart so you can giggle a little, snicker some, chuckle boisterously, cackle raucously, snort unexpectedly and hoot and holler through happy tears of joy? Wrap yourself in a humorous perspective and laugh your way to a seriously healthy, happy and upbeat life!

Here are 10 easy ways to grab more giggles and exercise your funny bone?

1. Get a Funny Buddy. Unite yourself with a laughing partner, friend, buddy or companion that you always know you can turn to for a laugh. Make a laughing agreement and shake on it, then surround yourself with more funny people. Make an effort to be around these lighthearted folks every chance you get.

2. Lose your wits. Be super silly for 10 seconds and let your brilliant foolish kid out to play.

3. Be a Silly Spectator. Stand back and scope out the outlandish, outrageous and crazy hilarity of humans. You will thank me the next time you are trying to ward off feelings of frustration and boredom in line at the DMV, out shopping or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Take it up a notch and bring your entertainment home with you and imitate their quirks, qualities or peculiarities that made you snicker earlier in the day.

4. Make Over the Ordinary. Recount your everyday experiences in a fun way and relive them! People laugh at the stuff they can relate to. It's the ordinary, everyday, run of the mill things we find funny. Some of the best sitcoms and funniest comedians (Seinfeld is a perfect example) create material out of the everyday perils of life. It's their passion and strong point of view that strikes an emotional cord in us and makes us burst out with laughter. Go for it and liven your stories up with attitudes, opinions, voices and dialects. Be spontaneous and let it fly!

5. Give Your Stories a Pay Off! The best stories have a punchy point, a profound lesson or a great big finish. Start with the end in mind. Give your friends a payoff for their attention. When you get close to the end, stop, take a deep breath and give the story a moment of silence. Let 'em dangle in anticipation before you end with a big bang! Adding more energy, impact and volume will give your story meaning, closure and give you the rewards of laughter.

6. Make it Big! Describe something gigantic. On your morning commute to work (of course while navigating your vehicle with the utmost in attentive care and caution), describe something humongous. Maybe it's the biggest cell phone, coffee maker or Fourth of July sparkler ever to be seen at the World's Fair.

7. Demand Door to Door Comedic Entertainment. Rent your favorite classic comedy flicks or a few of the new ones you've been meaning to get around to. What some may consider the demise of America, I argue could be the comedic cure. Blockbuster now offers unlimited door to door delivery service with your favorite DVDs without any pesky late fees or due dates. No kidding! You're in for some serious first rate livin' when you think about the movies, laughs and life entertainment that will be waiting for you on your doorstep.

8. Fake a Roll or Take a Part. Play Scarlet O'Hara or just ham it up for the day and walk through life with a particular point of view, strong opinion, clever persona, funny accent or problem that you must solve. Juice it up and have a dinner party where everyone has to maintain a character for the night. I've got a New York City cowgirl (don't call me an urban buckle bunny) persona in my hip pocket just waiting to come out. "This girl just ain't sure how she's gonna lasso herself up a ride on one of them quick four wheeled, yellow stallions."

9. Let Off Some Silly Steam. Before things get too heated up think of something quirky, cool, comical or witty. Have a few funny incidents lined up in your head that you can flash to before you disagree, bicker or complain. Even the slightest smile will ease ill feelings and spread goodwill throughout the land. The absolute worst situations still have a silver lining? you are getting some really great comedic material for later. Focus on the amusing or just plain weird moments that you'll want to recap with your friends and laugh about later.

10. Hunt Down the Funnies. Look for humor everywhere you go. Stalk it, pursue it and chase it down 'til you fall over with laughter. Think about what makes you laugh, the ironies of life that amuse you, the comedians you adore, the books that make you laugh aloud and which funny shows you refuse to miss. Read, watch or do all of the above as often as you can.

With adults laughing on average 15 times a day and children laughing about 450? we've got some serious work to do. Try a tip, grab a giggle and go. Track your laughs the fun and funky way. The free 'Laughin' Log' is yours at www.shesite.com. Who knew at the end of the day you could add up 100 laughs (the equivalent to 15 minutes on an exercise bike) and fit in to your skinny jeans?!!

Exercise your sense of humor so you can trim your body, increase your joy and be a magnetic force that attracts others to you. Let your fun, gregarious side shine and give gushing benefits of laughter to everyone around you.

CAUTION: Laughs have been known to be contagious. So watch out, you might even infect the grumpy, irritable and cantankerous folks in your life who always seem to have something to complain about.

By Julie Hunt

Hanging Out

Right off the top: What is the difference between dating and hanging out?

My teens try to differentiate the two by saying that dating is what you do with someone you want to be serious with. Hanging Out is what you do with good friends.

I guess perhaps age has slowed my mind up somewhat.

Even though I'm not that old.

To me, they seem similar. I should think that you would want to hang out with those you would be interested in dating.

Isn't that right?

You should be dating, "hanging out", with those you would like to consider a serious relationship with.

It is in the hanging out with each other that you get to know each other. You get to be around each other with your hair let down. You discover their likes, their dislikes, their habits, idiosyncrasies, hopes, goals, and dreams.

Maybe it would be more correct to want to "hang out" with the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

There is so much to learn about each other. So much that can be discovered in their virgin territory of relationship sense. They have lived their entire lifetime without you up until now. You get the opportunity, the unique privilege of peeling back the layers of their life's experiences, discovering the details of what has brought them to this point. What has made them who they are. Why it is that they have found they not only like what you are, but are indeed falling in love with who you are!

That may be the most revealing discovery of all....To you!

So get together. "Hang Out". Discover all the wonderful things and depth of personality that exists in the person who is systematically stealing you heart away.

Enjoy the journey. It is the voyage of a lifetime!

By Bob Curtis

What is the Ultimate Lifestyle?

Since the mission of this newsletter is to help you define, carve out, and live your own Ultimate Lifestyle, I figured I should devote some space to laying a proper foundation for doing that.

Before you can hit a target, you need to know where it is! So, to begin, let's answer the question:

What is The Ultimate Lifestyle?

First of all, it's different for different people. There are no rules or formulas. For some people, it means a lot of money, lots of "stuff," a fast-paced and "jet-set" sort of lifestyle. For others, it means a very simple, slow-paced life that focuses on service to others. And for others, it's every possible scenario in between these two "extremes."

There's no right or wrong lifestyle, or good or bad lifestyle.

There's just what works for you -- and it will likely change over time. I know it has for me.

No matter how you end up defining Ultimate Lifestyle for yourself, now and in the future, there are 8 components that must be considered:

1) Income Streams

To live your Ultimate Lifestyle, you must have income streams flowing that allow you to pay your bills and finance all the "extras" you prefer. To me, the ultimate target to shoot for in this arena is to have income streams flowing whether you "show up" for "work" or not, so you can choose what you want to show up for (even if it continues to be what you call "work" or a "job.").

That's what I've been able to achieve by applying my Invisible Path/11th Element strategies combined with direct marketing on and off the Internet.

Having income streams flowing whether you show up or now seems like "pie in the sky" to many people, but it's actually very attainable in today's world. You'll learn more about how to do it in future issues.

2) Emotions and Beliefs

Many people fail to create their Ultimate Lifestyle because they have emotional blocks, issues, or beliefs (what I call "p.s's." or "master biography files") that hold them back. Other people have produced extraordinary results and could live their Ultimate Lifestyle, but their blocks, issues or beliefs prevent them from doing it -- or fully enjoying it.

Therefore, living The Ultimate Lifestyle must include having access to resources and inner skills that allow you to uncover and remove, heal, or release any blocks, issues or beliefs that hold you back. You'll learn more about how to do that in future issues.

3) Fulfillment and Satisfaction

Whether you have a 9-5 job and career, you're a full-time mom, or whatever you do with your time, a big part of living The Ultimate Lifestyle means getting as much fulfillment and satisfaction from what you spend your time on as possible.

Many people don't ask for this, don't focus on this, and therefore don't get it. You must make it part of your intention and focus!

4) Living Environment

How and where do you want to live? In the mountains? In the big city? On the water? Multiple homes? Do you want to live in a big home or a small home? Is privacy or seeing beautiful scenery out your windows important to you? Do you like modern furnishings, antiques, or an eclectic mix? Living the Ultimate Lifestyle means asking these questions and having a home base that nourishes you at a very deep level. My family recently moved to Charlottesville, Virginia in pursuit of the nourishing living environment we craved -- and we got it, even better than we expected!

5) Relationships

What good is having income streams, a healthy emotional life, empowering belief systems, a great living environment, and a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction from how you spend you time if you're alone (and don't want to be) or your relationships with significant others (parents, siblings, kids, associates, etc.) are a mess? Believe me, I know about this one from long personal experience (before meeting my wife, Cecily).

Therefore, living The Ultimate Lifestyle must include having access to resources and inner skills that allow you to attract, build, and maintain healthy relationships.

6) Health

Again, what good is having income streams, a healthy emotional life, empowering belief systems, a great living environment, fulfillment and satisfaction, and great relationships if you have health problems that drag your quality of life into the gutter?

Dr. Robert Lindberg says, "We spend most of our life gaining wealth and we then spend most of our wealth on gaining back our health."

Living The Ultimate Lifestyle means having access to knowledge, resources, and skills that allow you to get healthy, stay healthy, and quickly resolve difficulties if and when they arise. I discussed some of the resources I use for this in previous issues, and will continue to share them in future issues,

7) Time

You can have income streams, a healthy emotional life, empowering belief systems, a great living environment, fulfillment and satisfaction, great relationships and health and if you don't have any time to do what you love, to follow your non-work passions, or to truly enjoy anything, what's the point? I know many people who could absolutely be living their Ultimate Lifestyle, but they choose to work too much, to the detriment of their quality of life. That's too bad -- to have the choice and ability and not do it.

8) Wealth Building, Management, and Responsibility

The final component to living The Ultimate Lifestyle is having systems in place that allow you to use your income streams to create wealth (as you define it), manage it, grow it, protect it, structure your financial and business affairs for maximum efficiency and personal benefit, and find ways of contributing and giving back (if that's important to you, which it is to me and my wife).

I'll be writing a follow up article, called "The fuel that drives the Ultimate Lifestyle" shortly.


Bob Scheinfeld

Top 10 Secrets for Being HAPPY!

One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin's refrain, "Don't Worry, Be Happy". I recently had the opportunity to observe people's reactions when a highway was closed because of an accident ahead. As we waited, I watched as some listened to radios, a few began tossing a Frisbee, other's seemed to be working or reading, and some opted for a quick nap. But, there were also a handful who were clearly agitated and angry. Pacing about, swearing, and upset, they decided that the best response to this event, which none of us could control, was to be very unhappy. I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln's comment that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." The following are my Top 10 Tips to increase happiness in your life:

1. Decide to be a happy person. As Lincoln observed, most people, most of the time, can choose how stressed or happy, how troubled or relaxed they want to be. Choose to be happy.

2. Watch and Read less news. As a recovering news addict, I know this can be difficult because the stock market fluctuates, politicians politic, and sports teams compete. But, most of the time, you don't need the stress. So, just don't watch. I think it was Henry Thoreau who noted that if you've ever read about a train wreck, you understand the principle and don't need to know any more about it.

3. Practice the Attitude of Gratitude. We all have so much to be grateful for. Just thanking the many people who assist us, encourage us, teach us and open doors for us could take all day!

4. Take Time. My dog has taught me much about loyalty, about noticing the sights, sounds, and smells in the yard, about being relaxed and about play. Eat when you're hungry, nap when you need it. Get your ears scratched whenever possible!

5. Laugh everyday. Hear a joke, tell a joke, laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends and family and co-workers. There are very few medicines as powerful as laughter, and I don't think you can over-dose, although it is addicting!

6. Love well. Express your affection, appreciation, friendship and warmth to those around you, and they will almost always respond in the most amazing ways! Be generous?it pays great dividends!

7. Work hard. This one comes as a bit of a surprise, but there is tremendous satisfaction in being competent, and joy in completing our assigned tasks. One of the great sources of happiness is to do work that is worthy of you, and to do it well.

8. Learn something new, everyday. To be happy, most of us must also be growing, expanding, learning and challenging ourselves. Read, listen, adapt and stretch to accommodate new ideas and new information.

9. Use your body as it was designed. Walk and run, stretch, throw things, and lift things. Dance! Exercise is good, but so is making love, mixing up a batch of cookies, or exchanging backrubs. You have a body and it can be either a source of joy, or a source of aches and pains. Your choice.

10: Avoid toxins. I prefer writing positives (things to do) rather than negatives (things to fear), but reality says there are negative people and there are bad chemicals, stressful noises, and unsafe places. Don't go there! Avoid poisons whenever possible. It seems to work out better that way.

by Philip E. Humbert

The Capacity for Happiness and Respectability

Humans are liable to experience a variety of afflictions, but they are commonly endowed with a capacity for happiness and respectability. There is no guarantee, however, that they will exercise this capacity at all times and to the maximum, whatever happens. Depression and shame remain a possibility, which increases with the severity of their afflictions and the difficulty of living up to the values that are necessary for their happiness and respectability: courage, efficiency, wisdom, and nobility.

Living up to these values is never easy, even under extremely favorable circumstances. It requires an effort of will. To make or not to make this effort is the question, central to the human existence. This question is difficult in proportion to the weight of suffering that bears on humans, while their dignity hangs in the balance. The more burdensome this weight, the more tempting it is for them to take the easy way out. The fear of losing their dignity, however, is a strong deterrent. There is no greater loss than that of dignity, save the loss of life itself. Yet, the easy way out is a very powerful temptation in extremely unfavorable circumstances. Giving up instead of living up to the values mentioned above is then deplorable but understandable. Excruciating circumstances are extenuating ones.

Amazingly enough, despite the burden of suffering that is oppressive to many, the incidence of moral collapse - in the form of errant ways like carelessness, vagrancy, and crime, often accompanied by alcohol or drug abuse to fuddle the conscience - is small in comparison with the incidence of worthy behavior. Furthermore, a moral collapse is remediable, except when the person concerned shows an inveterate or congenital weakness, or a mental illness that is beyond cure. On the whole, dignity can be lost and regained.

As for those who resist quitting the struggle for worthiness, they rarely do their best. In many instances their spirit is tainted with some degree of indulgence in laziness, cowardliness, ineffectiveness, foolishness, selfishness, and meanness. It has the grayness of dawn. Even those who shine like a late morning sun have a shadow of imperfection at their heels. In short, humanity has yet to fulfill its potential. While there is much courage, efficiency, wisdom, and nobility in the world, much happiness and respectability, there could be a whole lot more. The key to this rise is an effort of will.

By Laurent Grenier

Happiness - Not Something To Pursue

Perhaps the most sought after thing in the world is happiness. Our constitution even provides freedom for the pursuit of happiness. People seek out many things in that pursuit . . . power, money, love, sex, food, etc.

Happiness is not something to pursue. It's a decision we make for ourselves. Will Rogers may have said it best. He said, "Most folks are about as happy as they decide to be!" You have to decide to be happy. You may be amazed how everything else then falls into place!

My wife and I made that decision years ago. It works! But, you have to decide to be happy every day and regardless what happens. That's not always easy. Sometimes it can be a decision you have to make every other minute. You can always come up with "reasons" to be down, if you let yourself. Know what? You can learn to take even bad times in stride! As one 70 year old man said* concerning what he had learned in his lifetime, "Don't sweat the small stuff . . . and it's all small stuff!" It takes practice, but it can be learned. Try it! Make that decision right now!

The Lord can help. You can go to Him in thanksgiving and prayer anytime. Prayer works! It really does. For many people, the problem isn't believing in God, or that he can help. The challenge is believing that he will help. "Why should He help li'l 'ole me?" "I'm not important enough for Him to help." "That's such a little thing. Why would He help with that?" "Isn't He too busy with more important things?" "That's too much to ask!" The fact is . . . He is always there, like a loving parent, to help in any way, at any time. All He asks . . . is that you ask, with faith. Then miracles can happen!

When you decide to be happy, several things occur. The world suddenly seems like a better place to live in. People seem so much easier to deal with. They seem happier. Why weren't they like that before? Smile, and the world smiles with you? Your job becomes easier. Everything becomes easier! Dreams begin to come true.

Of course, there will always be some who will try to bring you back down to their level. Misery loves company? Perhaps. You may need to distance yourself from these people, if not physically, then at least emotionally. Something else to learn. Above all . . . BE HAPPY! Pray about it. He will help!


David M. Butcher

Suffering and Happiness

The one feature that sets life on Earth apart from a paradise is suffering. It poses a problem for humanity and calls for a solution. This problem relates to human desires, the satisfaction of which is often difficult and uncertain, if not impossible, and always transient, in need of renewal; it is doomed to end sooner or later in death.

One extreme way of solving this problem is to kill these desires by detaching oneself from their objects, while providing the body with minimum care, or to simply kill oneself. This detachment consists in regarding these objects as illusory or vain. It proceeds from a defeatism or a mysticism. In cases where life offers possibilities of fulfillment in the accomplishment of pleasurable activities and honorable duties, this detachment is premature or suspicious. Like suicide in such cases, it may indicate a morbid disposition, marked by laziness and cowardliness.

The opposite of this extreme way is the foundation of modern civilization. It implies a stubborn attachment to the objects of one's desires, such as good health, pleasure, mutual love, and success. It also implies a stubborn effort to satisfy these desires.

Now, this effort cannot be effective without a knowledge of the world, humanity included, or the workings thereof. It generates and ultimately meets the need for science, in the broadest sense of the word, and technology, which is the art of making the laws of nature serve human interests.

Furthermore, it produces a feeling of dignity, notwithstanding the errors and the failures that are indicative of fallibility. This feeling belongs to people who go to great lengths to achieve their earthly purpose - in a word, people who abide by this principle: Strive to thrive. It is unique to a courageous life, ever struggling against difficulties and changing, never boring. In comparison, a life of peaceful idleness or an afterlife of restful bliss (by definition as desireless, effortless, painless, and changeless as a mineral) is deadly: a consummate tedium.

Had our ancestors collectively preferred to renounce worldly happiness rather than to pursue it, because this pursuit is inseparable from suffering, humanity would be ancient history preserved in dirt. It would be a fossil for no one to see - no one except various critters that, unlike humans, would not have lost their will to live for good or ill and could be dubbed, for that reason, superior animals.

This advocacy of a courageous life, however, ought to be qualified. In the unlikely event that one should be utterly incapacitated by an illness or an injury and overwhelmed with distress, without the slightest prospect of future recovery and contentment, the renunciation of one's goals and perhaps even of one's existence would be a reasonable option. It indeed appears that a stubborn attachment to the objects of one's desires and a stubborn effort to satisfy these desires would be painfully useless and hence more foolish than brave if this satisfaction is not in any way possible.

Similarly, there are times when the bravest warriors have to admit defeat and rely on their honor to peacefully leave this world through their bleeding wounds. Supposing their final exit is excruciatingly prolonged, a fellow warrior may be right to expedite it at their request, since a sure but lingering and agonizing death seems terribly absurd.

By Laurent Grenier

How To Achieve Absolute Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. When you decide to be happy you are opening the door to love and inner peace. Many people are ready to spent millions of dollars to find happiness. Some of the affluent people in the world have spent their lives searching for the key to a happy life. Happiness can be described as a feeling of joy, excitement, pleasure, serenity, calmness and tranquility. It is something which you experience within yourself. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy, healthy and wealthy or sad, miserable and poor. Your mind is a very powerful instrument. As you programme your mind towards happiness, your subconscious mind starts to believe them and sooner or later your negative thoughts become fewer and happiness becomes part of your life.

To be filled with happiness you need a clean mind. A clean mind in a clean body. Your past is carried into the present moment. You can change anytime. If you continue to think the same thought you remain bound. Once you change your thinking and beliefs your attitude towards life changes and you will be a different person. James Allen pointed out 'Man is the Master of thought, the moulder of character, and the maker and shaper of condition, environment and destiny. You create your circumstances. William James pointed out, 'The greatest discovery of our generation is man by changing the inner attitude of his thinking can change the outer circumstances. So to have a happy life you need great attitude. Your attitude controls every aspect of your life. The sales results you are getting or the success in your business or personal life are the reflections of your attitude. Whatever comes into your life is the result of your mental attitude. Your attitude controls your happiness, health and wealth. A good attitude always gets good results. Your attitude controls your whole life. It comprises of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your attitude is everything about you.

If you want to be happy you cannot live in the past. Your past cannot be changed. Even your creator cannot change your past. But you can learn from your past failures. God has given you the power to control your mind. Once the mind starts to control you, you life will be a disaster. You have to learn how to control your mind. A gardener works day and night keeping his garden free of weeds and insects and grow flowers, fruits and vegetables so if you want to be happy you have to tend the garden of your mind, weeding out all the useless and impure thoughts and cultivate right and pure thoughts. By doing so sooner or later you will attract happiness in your life. You came into this world filled with happiness but as you start to grow the outside world and the environment programmed your mind towards unhappiness. Now you have to reprogramme your subconscious mind to bring back joy and happiness into your life. The happiness is already there, it is like a rusty diamond which needs to be polished. Once it is polished it sparkles again.

Happy people enjoy tranquility, good health and high self esteem. They have immense power. They have a dynamic personality. When you are a happy person you can change the negative to positive, bad news to good news. The Universe is you and you are the Universe. You have the power to change. You have to find out what type of thoughts are coming to your mind. 95% of the time the same thought comes again and again like a roller coaster. Start to think differently to have different thoughts. Join the Toastmaster club, become a church member, do gardening, go for jogging, make new friends, become a member of the laugher club or you may take a new job. See what needs to be changed. Once the mental block is removed happiness flows through you.

Affirmation for happiness

I am calm, peaceful and happy
I like myself and others like me
I love doing things for myself and enjoy doing things for other people
Everyday I believe in myself more and more
I feel very good when I see new people
My true smile and friendly nature draw them closer to me
I radiate happiness, confidence when I meet people
Everyone likes me because I am friendly, happy and caring
I always think good in my heart
My subconscious mind is filled with happiness, serenity and prosperity
Each day I am getting more and more happy
Each day I am getting more and more confident
My thoughts are getting clearer day by day
My heart is filled with love
I see joy and happiness around me
I am getting better and better everyday
I am calm, serene and relaxed

By Winston Saga

Laughter and Your Health

Did you know that according to research, children laugh about 400 times a day while adults only laugh about 15 times a day? Some how we lost the ability to laugh, as we got older. Could it be that putting more humour and laughter into our day will improve our health and wellbeing?

In an article written by Drs. Gael Crystal and Patrick Flanagan they stated that; "Scientists have found that laughter is a form of internal jogging that exercises the body and stimulates the release of beneficial brain neurotransmitters and hormones. Positive outlook and laughter is actually good for our health! More than ever, scientific evidence suggests that laughter really is one of the best medicines."

According to a study done by Dr. Tan from California's Loma Linda University Medical Centre, laughter can have a huge impact on our immune system. The university conduced a study of average adults. One group of adults was subject to an hour of laughter through watching videos of comedians and another group sat quietly out of earshot of the first group.

What did they find? Through regular blood tests carried out during the comedy shows they found that the laughter group had an increase in good hormones and a decrease in the body's stress hormone. Dr. Tan concluded that; "Laughter brings a balance to all the components of the immune system." Some clinics are now using this information with their patients. They are using laughter therapy to replace anti-depressants and to reduce the use of painkillers. According to researchers faking laughter will also produce the same health and wellbeing results as real laughter.

Do you need to improve your ability to laugh more? Well here are some tips from Family Scientist, Herbert G. Lingren to help all of you, who are humour impaired, to add laughter and humour to your everyday life.

1. Hang around funny friends, or better yet, marry a funny partner.

2. Start looking for the absurd, silly, incongruous activities that go on around you each day.

3. Take a 5-10 minute humour break each day. Read jokes, add to a humour notebook, and listen to a funny tape.

4. Rent a comedy video, go to a funny movie, and watch humorous programs on television.

5. If you hear a joke you really like, write it down, or tell it to someone else to help you remember it.

My final tip would be to spend more time having fun with children maybe you will catch a few hundred laughs off them! Better still join a laughter club or start your own.

By Lisa Branigan

Simplify - and Be Happy

People's lives today are jam-packed with great projects, ideas, to-do lists, errands, things we should do, things we could do, duties and obligations. No surprise then, that many of us feel we barely have time to do the things we have to do (or think we have to do), let alone spare time for fitting in anything extra.

Why do we insist on keeping ourselves so busy? We have trained ourselves to believe that to be busy improves our chances of success in this world. The "no pain, no gain" mentality. Also, our minds love to be active. For many high achieving types, taking "mental time out" is tantamount to laziness!

Being busy is not necessarily a bad thing - often we accomplish a lot in our busy lives. But when we get to a point where the level of activity is running our lives, it's time to take some action! Ask yourself:

Why do I choose to take on all the things I do?

Do I really understand what is driving these choices?

What are the things I can't do that I would like to, because I am too busy? - Enter the simplification process. It sounds deceptively easy but the reality is usually different. It's hard to let go of things that you have invested time, money and emotions into.

I suggest people look at 3 areas:

Firstly, stop doing things - just stop

Pick 2 or 3 activities (like projects, committee memberships or DIY home activities) and decide not to do them. That's the first big step.

Second, examine all the great ideas you have in your head

The things you keep thinking about that take up mental space like:

- financial goals that have yet to come true

- becoming a size ten

- winning the lottery

You've done OK in your life without those things so far, and chances are that you'll continue to survive. Give them up.

Third, reduce or eliminate your errands

These sneaky timewasters chew up a lot of physical and mental energy. If you haven't' done them, you are thinking about doing them, and once they are done, you often need to repeat them from month to month! With the technology around today, there are very few errands that need to take up time. Bill paying, shopping, buying presents - all these things can be done in a fraction of your time on the internet, or can be outsourced.

The reality is if we have nothing better to do, we'll keep doing all those things we normally do - the things that keep us busy. Simplify your life and make time to find those better things to do. Guaranteed, you'll enjoy it.

By Megan Tough

Smile

How do we smile at each other? Is there a message communicated between us as we smile? Does it convey the depth of our feelings we have for each other? Take note of how our smiles deepen in feeling toward each other as our relationship grows and time passes. Note how our smiles reflect our joy as we pass time together without insignificant complaints.

You've heard it said that we all have something to give. That something is a simple smile. A smile that conveys not only friendship, but simple love. And are we not aware that we should love everyone? We should love all. But we also know that those we love the most are those we know the best.

The more time we spend with our companion, the happier we are. Business and other affairs of life may take us away from home for certain periods of time. Do not allow the association of others outside the home to become more important than the associations we have at home. Do not allow commitments of the world to outweigh the committment of our companionship and relationship at home. Being at home with our partner should be the place we long to be, amid all the duties and responsibilities of life. We should foster a relationship with our companion that turns our steps homeward when our daily duties are accomplished. Companionship with our special loved one is the means of developing and encouraging that love which initially brought us together.

Do not allow the difficulties and distractions of life to become a wedge between us and our loved companion. We must talk to each other. Listen to each other. Smile at and be with each other often. Challenges are so much easier to face when they are perceived as challenges to be solved together, rather than challenges that may divide us.

Our most important and precious possession is our family. Even when we are just a family of two. We are more important than any professional or social club or organization will ever be. We need to spend as much of our free time as is needed in nurturing and growing our relationship. And we should also be willing, in return, to encourage each other in the growth and development of ourselves as individuals. We can be truly proud and supportive of each other's talents and capabilities. And we can do it with a warm and sincere smile.

We can give and we can receive. We can lift and we can support. We can smile, and share that love and encouragement with each other.

And we can do it often.

By Bob Curtis

Choose To Integrate Body, Mind, & Soul

Our bodies were made in such a way that everything is integrated. The mind appears to control everything. When something happens to the body whether good or bad, it registers in the brain and the brain then dictates the bodies response. Scientists has found that it also works that way within the body. Biofeedback has shown that the mind can direct the immune system to fight various infections in the body includ- ing the dreaded strains of cancer. For the average person this is a wonderful idea, but biofeedback costs money and besides not everyone has a life threatening problem. Imagine being able to do this for yourself in the comfort of your own home, office or anywhere else you can go to be alone for a few minutes! There are another kind of science that is telling us that the body listens when we talk. Think about that for a minute. When we talk we are saying what the mind is thinking; we are just saying it outloud. So, it follows we can do our own biofeedback anywhere we want. A very simple illustration of this will prove this to you. Hold your arms out in front of you extending your two index fingers. Shut your eyes and repeat our loud, "fingers come together". Think it and say it and within two minutes your fingers do come together. When I first tried this it was very exciting to me that it worked because for me it opened possibilities in my mind! Since then I have become a talker to myself! A self whisperer if you will. I talk to my body and to my sub conscious even and I have gotten amazing results. This is one thing that I think will work for everyone because this is one of the functions of the body, mind and soul that was part of the design, just as blood running through everyone's body is the same. But, you must have an open mind! Your mind accepts that blood runs through the body in a specific manner and so it must accept that the body, mind and soul will listen when it is spoken to, no matter who is speaking, yourself or someone else.

In the morning when you first wake up, lie still, calm your breatheing, still your mind, and have a talk with yourself. Tell yourself what kind of day you are going to have. Keep everything positive! Tell yourself that you are happy and that you are going to be happy all day and that you are going to smile all day. Tell yourself what you are going to accomplish during the day. Tell yourself you will be relaxed and feel good about yourself. Tell yourself that you are a good person and that you have a lot to offer others. You will be surprised at how well your day will go. Always be honest with yourself! If you are a person that has low self esteem, spend some time telling yourself what areas you excel in, list your good qualities. When you are caught in traffic on the way home from work you can tell yourself what a good day it has been, list your accomplishments, tell yourself you are going to have a nice relaxed evening. Tell yourself you will be kind to your mate and your children.

Talking to yourself in this manner can change your life! I challenge you to try it!

Body, Mind, and Soul

Being in tune with your mind, body, and soul and how they work is the one most important thing you can do for yourself. We know now that, the three work together. If the body is ill, the mind and soul are affected as well. If the mind becomes ill the body and soul show the stress of that. But, I think the strongest combination showing the most illness is when the soul becomes stressed. That seems to make the body and mind crumble the quickest. I, myself, have learned that first hand! But, it also works in the reverse! When the body is healthy, the mind is sound and the soul is happy. Keeping these three in balance is a life long task. So, learning how to do it and then maintaining it with little effort is very important. We do have other things in life to accomplish! However, the other things we are accomplishing will be enhanced and go much easier if we take the time to be in tune with ourselves.

The first thing one must learn about being in tune with yourself, is to be in tune with YOURSELF. When a person finds something that works for them, they are so enthused that they want everyone else to do the same thing. Someone loses weight using a specific diet, someone joins a new religion, or someone tries a new vitamin. We also want to lose weight, or find the happiness in joining a group, or want the benefits that other person is enjoying from the vitamin, so we try it fully expecting the same results. My Dad used to say that if a person took mega doses of Vitamin C they would never have a cold or the flu again. Thats because that is the way it worked for him. What happens is sometimes we get the same results and sometimes we don't. Sometimes nothing happens or we get bad results. The reality of this situation is that each of us is unique. Yes, our bodies are alike in structure and the method they operate, but there the sameness ends. Each of us have a different balance. Because of that you can take one diet and try it out on ten different people and some will lose weight, for some it won't make any difference, some may gain and some may lose too much weight. Take ten different people, expose them to the same religion or group and get ten different interpretations of what that group is all about about. Some will embrace it entirely and find joy, others may be left cold or violently disagree. Give ten people the same diet regimen and there may be ten different results. Some it will affect dramatically and others it may not. So, the key to getting in tune with your body, mind and soul will include finding what works for you, useing those things, and not being discouraged when something doesn't work for you that work for your spouse, best friend or neighbor. Remember, you are unique!

www.naturallivingbychoice.com

I am a health conscious individual that spends a lot of time researching different ways of thinking. It is important to me to think outside the box or the matrix if you will! I do not believe and accept everything I see, read, or hear. Some things I have found to be truths for my own life and those things I pass on to you. My maxims are "think for yourself" and "listen to your whole self, body, mind and soul!" I have found that if I do those two things I am always happy! The goal of my

Happiness Increases Longevity...Where Do We Find This Gift of Life?

According to U.S. research, you can add seven and a half years to your life just by being happy!
Backing this claim up is Laurie Hayes, Life Strategy Coach from Ontario, Canada who also states that genuine happiness is the key ingredient being sought after by most people who come to her.
Ms. Hayes has been working with people who have recognized this missing element in their lives and want to take corrective action towards a more meaningful, balanced existence.
"The pursuit of authentic happiness is an ongoing quest for many," says Laurie. "Some people believe that by earning more money, working longer hours, and taking on more and more responsibility, they will somehow reap big benefits that will in the end guarantee happiness. Unfortunately that just isn't the case, and research has now proven that the more comfortable life becomes, the more discontented and unfulfilled we become."
Incredibly, professional men and women polled in a recent U.S. study were rated to be unhappiest of all. Most attributed work pressures, the need to achieve, family responsibilities, social pressures, busy lifestyles and the absence of personal and reflective time to feelings of discontentment, detachment, anxiety and even depression.
Ms. Hayes says people often wait so long to do anything about these feelings that by the time they come to her they are out of sync, overwhelmed, feeling heavy and isolated, and that it's only through supportive, strategic life coaching they are able to learn how to live, laugh, play, and dream again.
Coaching used to be reserved for top-level executives, movie stars and large corporations, but is now being sought after by average, everyday people seeking positive life change. Already mainstream in the U.S., it is still relatively new in Canada. Coaching identifies core values, personal strengths and obstacles blocking people's happiness and provides the forum for planning and carrying out a plan to create desired results. Unlike therapy, it focuses on co-creating a desired future based upon the person's natural abilities and skills.
Laurie explains she got involved in helping people find their happiness because she lost herself many years ago.
"I know personally what it's like to become so wrapped up in one thing that everything and everyone else in life seems to disappear. I experienced it years ago while building my first business. I was so caught up in success and achievement that everything else took second place, and I lost everything that really mattered to me - my home, my partner, etc. Back then there wasn't such a thing as a life coach. I took a break, got my act together and reconstructed a more authentic and happy life. I learned a valuable lesson and now I want to do my bit to help others realize that they too can find happiness by not denying themselves. A lot of people don't have anyone to support and listen to them, and that's where I come in."
Thankfully, real happiness is attainable and doesn't have to come at the expense of something else. As a matter of fact, the source might be so close to us that we can't even see it! The secret of extended life might be right under our noses, only waiting to be discovered!
Laurie Hayes