Are You Getting in the Way?

Getting out of our busy mode and into our heart occasionally, I'm certain that many of us would find at least one moment during our day where we could pause, reflect on a situation, and see something that we can do to make a difference in someone else's life.

The pace of life and work has increased a lot and I daresay we don't give as much thought as we could to the circumstances of other people's lives. Sometimes, we're so caught up in our own struggle that we don't think we can even afford the time to "give" our time, suggestions, talents, to others. And yet, if we do, we are rewarded.

We are often times, throughout our lives, able to experience richness, synchronicity, and reward through small acts of generosity. This isn't even about money, although sometimes the rewards will impact our financial status as well. And yet, we fail too often when we are so self-absorbed or consumed by our own situation thinking we'd give up too much by helping.

So, this is just a gentle reminder for all of us to pay attention to at least one "little thing" that will make a difference for someone else. Try to make it for someone you don't know well or don't know at all; family and friends are too easy and natural.

By Lee Down

Principles of Human Misery / Happiness

Sometimes we are so occupied with our daily routine in life that we forget that "we" are the most important element of our existence. We need to be nourished in order to grow.

When we look at the people around us, we most likely find that most people's favorite pastime is to complain. And just why do we complain anyway? Is it because we need something? Is it that we lack something? Is it that we need or want sympathy? Is it because we need attention? Is it just that we just like to complain; or is it that we just like to hear ourselves talk? Is it becoming a pattern with you? These are some of the most common elements that describe our problem.

I generated a list that can either make us happy, or it can make us miserable. Sometimes we need to draw the line for ourselves, and we are the only ones who can do that!

Be Happy!

1- Just simply be happy and content with yourself, and who you are.

2- Love yourself.

3- Accept yourself for who you are, and as you are.

4- Life is simple, stop trying to complicate it.

5- Life is about understanding. The lessons and experiences you have are only for your own growth and for better soul awareness.

6- Discover who you are, and your soul, and get acquainted with that

7- Make some time for yourself every day.

8- Learn to listen.

9- Pay attention to your child(ren), help your elders, and you will feel fulfilled.

10-Be good to yourself.

11-Accept humiliation as part of your growth.

12-Always have peace of mind. It's not easy, but try to create it.

Life isn't what challenges us, "we" challenge "ourselves".

Be Miserable!

1- Do live for other people and feel miserable.

2- Do look to others for support, become dependent on others.

3- Do live up to a fake image that is not you.

4- Do take care of everyone before yourself.

5- Do always negate yourself.

6- Do love others before loving yourself.

7- Do live according to traditions just to please others or do things that do not fit in with your own philosophy in life.

8- Do live other people's life karma who they are. That including your family. Live your own life karma.

9- Become greedy, jealous, stubborn, or too sensitive to accept criticism.

10-Do allow your ego and pride to take over your life.

Life is simple so let's stop complicating it.

Choices are out there. It is up to you to choose your own direction in life. It is very important to realize that we hold our own destiny in life, and no one else's. It is also very important to understand your own rights, because you do have FREE WILL. Even the GOD, which I refer to as a "Great Energy Force", that you believe in respects your Free Will because you are part of this GOD and that energy is in us always. If your GOD does not respect that, then it becomes a contradiction and goes against all that's out there in all religions. This "great energy force" is all about love, forgiveness and compassion, and not anything else.

When our GOD will respect our Free Will, why aren't we humans respecting each other's Free Will? In many instances we have been raped of our Free Will by the many limitations which are inflicted upon us every day. Such limitations can manipulate the direction we will take in our lives, thus affecting our karma. We do this as individuals and as a society.

When a human Soul says NO to someone, it does NOT mean YES or that they can try to manipulate the other person in order to change their decision, by tapping into their weaker side. No means No and that has to be respected at all times otherwise we are creating karma for our soul.

As a society, we witness this being manifested throughout history by every empire, civilization, or source of power that had surfaced over time. They all came, and disappeared quickly. Why is that? Very simple! When these civilizations were taking control over other civilizations, against their Free Will and their way of life, it helped to create a deep anger, and frustration and all kind of energies that accumulated and became a universal force which was ready to explode at the right time. At the same time these civilizations became greedier, and wanted to control everything until things started to crack and fall apart. We have seen this throughout history and, as we know, history has a way of repeating itself because we never learn. While the pattern remains misunderstood, we will keep repeating it until we learn the intended lesson. I will go over, at a future date, the concept of a nine-year cycle for us as individuals, and how we can apply it to our society.

Money is power - power is control. In our universe there is an abundance of this. Once we learn to share this money, or power, we'll manage not to be afraid that someone will be taking something away from us. Then we will have peace. This kind of inner peace, and the cycle of life, will move us to higher ground. Until then there will be no peace in ourselves. Example: Take rich 'powerful' men. Forget what they can buy, the majority of them are NOT happy and they will always feel like there is something missing, or that cannot be bought with money. Why is this? Very simple, until that rich man learns and understands his wealth and is sharing it with his fellow man and not just giving it away for the sake of giving it (perhaps as a tax write off) that peace will never be found. It is all about sharing the knowledge on how to make it, and to never be afraid that by sharing it they would have anything taken away from them, because there is always an abundance of wealth in the universe. The minute they learn this, they will start to find fulfillment in their life. Consider this for a moment!

So what is Free Will in the first place?

Free Will is very simple. As human beings, it is the one thing that we hold as our ticket in life and that allows us to change the direction of our life when we choose to actually use it.

Free Will, in my view, is the way we perceive our life as well as the way we portray ourselves. When we always see ourselves as victims then there is no place for Free Will in our subconscious. When we see ourselves progress, we see that we have a choice to make a difference, and then we are using our Free Will. We might think that we have no opinion or have no choice in the matter because this is what our society has dictated to us. Many of these influences came upon us only in order to help control our views, and direct us to what they think might suit them, and not necessarily us.

Some of us do not believe in Free Will. That is alright with me because that is their choice and they have the Free Will to do so. I respect this. Believing in Free Will or not, you are still exercising it in your daily life whether you know it or not. Just simply by saying YES or No! How come? Your circumstances and direction in life are dependent on that YES or NO choice that you take and you will live according to that decision. It was your choice wasn't it?

In human terms as an example, it is like the Veto that they have in the United Nations, when countries vote on a resolution. Certain countries have the veto power to turn down a resolution. Now Free Will is given to us to use anytime we need to take a decision in life. Why? In life we are held responsible for all of our decisions, and should not feel guilty any time we use it. It is given to us from that "Great Energy Force" that created our universe, and space, and that allowed us to come here and experiment our growth and evolution in order to be enlightened and progress.

In the end, you can live happily or you can live miserably. Take your life in your own hands and make your own choices! Simplify instead of complicating life.

Copyright © Joseph Ghabi www.freespiritcentre.info. All rights reserved.


By Joseph Ghabi

The Key To A Problem-Free Life

What comes to your mind when you see someone who has a perpetual smile on her face and always looks at things on the bright side? Do you wish you could strangle that person or do you wonder how she accomplishes looking peaceful and without a care in the world. Well, I'd hope that once you get past the wanting to strangle the person, you'd ask yourself what it is that makes that person tick the way she does? I'd venture to guess that the person leads a problem-free life! Am I saying that this person doesn't face challenges and obstacles? Absolutely not! It's all about how she perceives these challenges and the thought process she applies. Have I sparked your interest?!

Well, I don't want to mislead you either? A problem-free life doesn't mean that you won't still face problems or challenges. The key to a problem-free life is entirely related to how you deal with the challenges that enter your path. It's really all about choices when it comes to handling a problem. Here are some of the steps I recommend to "tackling problems" and creating a problem-free life:

1. Decide that you are not your problems.

Make a decision to not let the situation rent space in your head.

2. Don't react, instead respond by:

Not taking on other people's problems. Yes, this includes your family and friends!

- Don't be afraid to say No. You can't fix everything in the world. Other people need to learn their own lessons. It can be hard to teach your spouse and children initially. Just stick to it!

Writing out your thoughts about the situation. Has this "problem" entered your life before? How have you handled the situation in the past? If you haven't, why not?

Knowing that living in crisis mode has become quite the norm in today's world. You might think that your life becomes boring without constantly coming to the rescue. However, believe me on this one - there are plenty of wonderful things that will take that space?

3. Think about an immediate and long-term solution. Focus on what this situation can bring to your life versus being caught in the moment.

There could be a wonderful learning lesson in the situation. If you can detach yourself from the momentum the situation has created, the lesson will typically appear.

4. And finally - remind yourself that you have the skills to deal with any situation! You wouldn't be dealt this situation if you couldn't handle it!

Remember - a problem-free life is only a decision away? I hope you make that decision today! I know that you may be reading the above and saying that it all sounds good in theory. However, when the situations arise, you just can't follow through. My suggestion to you is that you start with "small problems" initially until you get more comfortable with your new approach. It does work!

The Personal Cost of Shyness

Has someone nearby been sending you emails rather than calling or meeting you face-to-face? When you do get together, does she or he stand back, avoid holding eye contact, or speaking up?

While there are many possible reasons for their behavior, that person may, in fact, be a victim of what has become "the third most prevalent psychiatric disorder" according to Dr. Lynne Henderson, a director of The Shyness Clinic. Yes, shyness.

Along with Dr. Phil Zimbardo of Stanford University, Henderson has been studying what they believe is a growing social epidemic. In their research, nearly half of Americans describe themselves as chronically shy. Another 40% considered themselves as previously shy and only about 5% believed they were never shy. Dr. Zimbardo intends to draw more public attention to this disorder in his role as the new president of the American Psychological Assocation.

Shy people tend to smile, touch and speak less. In social situations they experience symptoms such as rapid heart beat, perspiration, and butterflies in the stomach . . . often. Henderson and Zimbardo say that shyness is a form of excessive self- preoccupation. Shy people think more negative thoughts about themselves, are more likely to expect to be rejected and perceive others as less approachable than less shy people.

They are even more likely to forget information presented to them when they believe that they are being evaluated. In short, the world looks like a scary, unfriendly place, so, ironically, they prove themselves right and often look unapproachable.

At what cost? Shy people obviously have more trouble meeting people, conversing, forming relationships -- participating in life. Professor emeritus Thomas Harrell of Stanford University examined Stanford M.B.A.'s over a 20 year period to elicit their "success" factor and found that,"The number one factor linked with success was social extroversion, the ability to speak up, something that shy people are least apt to do.

The bad news continues. In addition to the pervasive loneliness which shyness engenders, two potent, negative consequences of shyness are

1) greater health problems because shy people tend to have a weak network of friends and are thus less resilient to illness and less likely to even tell give doctors sufficient information to be treated, and

2) likely to make less money, live up to their potential at work or feel appreciated for their contributions.

Metaphorically, shyness is a shrinking back from life that weakens the bonds of human connection. In her book, "That's Not What I Meant", Dr. Deborah Tannen wrote that, "Little of what we say is really important, relative to the words that are used, but it is the conversation itself that shows involvement."

Why are more American describing themselves as shy? Is it our growing social isolation? Machines are replacing humans in many of our everyday interactions, from bank ATMs to gas stations to Email. Dr. Henderson believes that, "The growing context of indifference to others means a lowered priority is being given to being social." With less time spent in face-to-face interaction people are feeliing less comfortable with their ability to connect when they do want that closeness, turning modern-day shy.

What can you do to reach out through your shyness? Shyness expert, Jonathan Berent, offers four pieces of advice which I have paraphrased:

1. When you feel safe you do not feel shy.

Seek out and create safe environments to experience the non-shy parts of yourself, where you can be completely yourself without fear of judgment or negative consequences.

2. You are responsible for your actions, not your feelings.

A natural instinct is to be driven to get rid of uncomfortable feelings. But you can remove feelings or control them. You can only feel them and then move onto what you want to feel or do next.

3. Your feelings are not within your control, but your follow-up thoughts and actions are.

Trying not to feel shy leads you to trying not to feel at all. Try stuffing your feelings and you may turn compulsive, obsessive, addicted to something or someone and/or withdraw.

If you try to stay with your feeling of shyness and see the worst that you can feel, then, over time, you know that you can survive, and even thrive in situation that had seemed scary.

4. Shy people are often attracted to those who do not return the affection which is a very painful way of creating safety.

Knowing this, you can become more aware of people who are comfortable enough to reciprocate your reaching out.

One final personal note. Most of my childhood I was quiet and kept to myself, mostly because I enjoyed daydreaming and reading. But most people thought that I was shy. In fact a school therapist diagnosed me as "phobically shy." I saw how isolating their view of me could make my life if I did not learn to reach out more so that people would be comfortable with me when I did want to connect.

We all know from harsh experience that, while everyone yearns to be known and cared for, not everyone knows how to show appreciation in the face of caring. You "say it better" to connect and care, not because those gestures will always be acknowledged, but because, it is your brave and warm expression of how you want to live your life. Yes?

By Kare Anderson

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What Is Happiness?

What is it that everyone is seeking? Happiness with no sorrow. A continuous happiness with no taint whatsoever of sorrow.~Lester Levenson

Happiness is our basic nature.

We rarely find it because we are not in touch with our basic nature. Instead we look for happiness everywhere where it doesn't exist.

The world equates happiness with fulfilling a desire. Yet every goal achieved and every possession finally owned is a fleeting pleasure.

I do appreciate what I have. Yes, I am grateful for it. However, satisfaction and pleasure are not the same as happiness.

Again, one can be loved, even adored, and still not be happy. People, for example, considered Elvis Presley adorable. He was beautiful, talented, and kind-hearted. Yet, he, himself, was not happy.

What, then, is happiness?

Everybody craves it, but few enjoy it. And those that do enjoy it, do so only fleetingly. Seasons pass and what was once considered a source of endless delight fades in its glory.

The closest we can get to happiness is through love. Loving stimulates happiness.

This happiness arises when we give love. It arises because love, too, is our basic nature.

Thus, when we love, we are happy; and we are happy because we are being ourselves, expressing our true nature.

Our true nature is happiness. This is the quality of soul. In fact, soul, in its primal aspect, is a consciousness that is blissful, wise, and powerful beyond measure.

However, we seldom experience our true nature and seldom get in touch with our souls because the limitations of thought shadow the soul the way clouds hide the sun.

It is the task of every person to discover their own soul. This quest is fulfilled through spiritual practices.

As we shed our illusions about the nature of the world and our relationship to it, we become more aware of our own luminosity.

When we give, love, and share, we touch upon the majesty of our soul. We bring it out into the world. We slip out from behind the veil of mind and show ourselves.

One who has stripped away all veneer of thought, all layers of mind, becomes ensouled. When the mind is quiet there is nothing left over but the infinite Self.


By Saleem Rana

Have Fun, Make Friends, Be Happy

I always marvel at the way people shine when they break through a roadblock in their lives. It's brilliant and it's also incredibly attracting. There's a sense of joy and freedom that is almost palpable.

Val is a great example. When she started in my workshop, she was feeling overwhelmed with financial and health lack issues. Never enough money, held back by life's circumstances, and her physical body was challenged, to say the least.

As she began applying the tools to release her old beliefs, and saw the immediate responses from the Universe as she began to manifest, she became almost giddy, playful and childlike. She was having FUN!

I have found this is one of the most desirable states for manifesting in our lives. Pure, unadulterated joy and bliss as we allow ourselves to be happy!

At this vibration we are able to tap into and connect with the cosmic forces of creation in a way that is incredibly powerful. The response is automatic and immediate, continuing to delight us and allowing us to soar to even higher levels of consciousness and bliss!

She began to use the tools with confidence and certainty. She consciously chose to be happy and to have fun! Frustrated in trying to reach her chiropractor for an appointment, she used the process and received a call from their office 15 minutes later for an appointment 20 minutes later (unheard of in her experience!).

Calling stores all over and unable to find more invitations for her daughter's wedding, she used the process and a store called her as soon as she'd finished to say they'd found some of them in stock!

This happens all the time. The miracles and the magic start to happen! One time an acquaintance called me for help. She had deleted a message on her machine from a woman who wanted to book her for a paid speaking engagement. She had no idea how to reach the woman, so we used the process to envision the woman calling her and the engagement being successfully booked.

The woman called her later in the day, apologized for not returning her call sooner (she'd never called her!), and even sent her an email to confirm her interest!!! The engagement was booked, successfully, and all went well.

Sometimes we forget to allow the Universe to take actions in our lives. Sometimes we forget to choose to be happy.

If we hold the belief that "it's all up to us" or that we "have to do everything ourselves" we are turning our backs on the most powerful force in our lives.

When my son was younger, I sent him off to school with these wishes: "Have fun. Make friends. Be happy." That was what I truly wished for him to experience. As I look at those words now I realize they were really quite wonderful!

How many of us are having an inner dialogue that is encouraging us to have an incredibly amazing day? How many of us are walking out our doors each morning with joyful anticipation of all the fun that lies ahead, almost as if we have the chance to enjoy an entire day at Disneyland? How many of us are making the conscious choice to be happy?

Trust the Universe and ask for help. Give yourself the endorsements and encouragement you deserve. Everything you desire is already there for you.

Remember this is a vast, rich Universe that we live in, and there is a limitless supply of everything available to us all. Just open your arms wide and prepare to receive all that is already yours by Divine right.

And just for tomorrow as you leave your house or prepare to start work, hear my voice or the voice of someone you love saying: "HAVE FUN. MAKE FRIENDS. BE HAPPY."

YOU deserve it!

By Debbie Friedman, M.S., C.Ht

Finding Purpose and Meaning in Life

A friend once said to me, "There is no meaning in life, except what we create". At the time, I thought she was nuts. Now, I understand.

What is the meaning of your life? Some will say that it is to glorify God. Others will say to do good and make a difference. Still others account for their purpose for existence in their children. All of these ideas may have validity, but it still comes down to one thing. What do you decide is of value? What do you choose to be the purpose of your life?

The beauty of this concept is that again, you have the power to choose. Purpose and meaning is not some flighty ideal that only a few can comprehend. You have the power, the right, the responsibility to find your purpose in life. No one else can do it for you. With choice, there is power.

If you are sure of what your purpose is, if there is no doubt as to why you exist, good for you. Go for it with gusto. Embrace it, enjoy it, fulfill it. If you are not clear about your purpose, the meaning of your life, create it. You have so much in you to explore.

We humans have so much potential to create. We can create meaning, and we can create happiness. We can create misery and pain. We are creating our purpose and meaning every moment of the day. What purpose are you creating for you life, right now?

If you are still stuck, let me give you and idea. Make your purpose in life to be the best "You" that you can be. Work diligently on developing yourself, learning, growing, and most of all, loving yourself. If that is you major purpose, and you do it correctly, without judgement, in a healthy and balance manner, you cannot help but becoming a happier person, and your joy is sure to spill on to others.

Developing yourself to be the best possible "You" you can be does not mean seeking after fleeting and meaningless pleasure. That will only bring you pain. Developing the best possible you takes hard work and dedication. When I talk about being the "Best", I am talking about being the most noble, the most balanced, the most healthy (mentally and physically), the most authentic, the most honest, the most generous, the most logical, the most intelligent, the most loving, the most self-sustaining individual you can be.

Notice, I didn't say the best person in the world. I said, be the best you can be. If you start to compare yourself to others to see how much better you are then others, you will set yourself up for trouble. You will either be deflated, because there will always be someone better at something then you. Or you will falsely inflate your ego, which will only serve to bite you in the end.

In my opinion, being the "Best You" that you can is everyone's ultimate purpose. It will be in everyone's best interest if you concentrate on your best self-interest. It is also hard work. That is why so many people would rather opt out and let others make their meaning (God, your parents, your spouse etc) . If you take an active role in developing the "best possible you", you will make your world a better place, not just for you, but for those around you.

The bible says "Love your neighbour as yourself". You cannot fully love others until you truly love yourself. Make that your purpose, and the world will thank you.

By Donna Hedley